The following is a fictitious conversation that may have happened somewhere in the District of Columbia between two politicians named Bizarro Nobama and his faithful sidekick Nimrod (his friends call him Axel).
Nobama: So what can we do? We have an oil spill in the gulf, two wars to fight, debt that is going to bury us, borders as secure as a badminton net, and an economy in the toilet.
Nimrod: You know what to do – just do it..
Nobama: What? You mean,,, do the wrong thing?
Nimrod: That’s right – you don’t want to piss off your ultra liberal supporters – I’ve seen Janeane Garofalo mad, and I’m telling you, it ain’t pretty.
Nobama: So I’m on track by doing nothing about the oil spill except blame BP – and of course George W. Bush.
Nimrod: So just follow that example – remember, the overriding directive of our administration is do the wrong thing.
Nobama: But won’t people catch on?
Nimrod: No way – remember the masses are stupid. We’ve been dumbing down Americans for years – infiltrating the academic community and turning it into a liberal bastion of underachieving America haters.
Nobama: So tell me what to do for the rest of the problems we face.
Nimrod: Shoot.
Nobama: The war in Afghanistan?
Nimrod: Easy – fire the General in charge and replace him with someone you already smeared as a betrayer of America. A change at the top can be devastating to morale and embolden our enemies.
Nobama: Great! What about the national debt?
Nimrod: No prob. Tell America we need to go deeper in debt to get out of debt.
Nobama: That makes no sense at all.
Nimrod: Don’t worry about it - your mindless followers will believe anything you read from a teleprompter.
Nobama: OK, now a hard one. Illegal immigration.
Nimrod: Right – that’s a tough one. Trick is downplaying the word illegal and play up the word immigration. Make it as easy as possible for anyone to walk right across the border. And if anyone does anything contrary, like try to secure the border, call them racists and get that idiot Attorney General of yours and sue them into oblivion.
Nobama: Damn you’re good. Now for last, the economy. How to I approach that?
Nimrod: That’s the easiest one. Don’t you remember how Ronald Reagan brought the economy back from the dead after we liberals ran it into the ground in the late 70’s?
Nobama: Well, sure. He lowered taxes on business, cut burdening regulation, and made the government a friend to small business. He created an environment that started a 20 year economic boom in our country.
Nimrod: Well then, just think what would Reagan do, and then do the complete opposite!
Nobama: Wonderful! You know, it’s hard sometime, just to do the wrong thing.
Nimrod: Well, look at it this way, you only have a little over two years yet to do it.
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