FORE ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

As our President hit the campaign trail immediately after delivering his meaningless State of the Union address, it got me to thinking about the remaining time he will reside in the White House. I’ve determined the very best thing Barack Obama could do for the country is to hit the golf course – and stay on the golf course. As the President who has spent more time playing golf than any other President, this shouldn’t be a problem. At least this will keep Barack Obama from doing any further damage to the country. So the next time you hear someone on a golf course yelling the word “Fore”, hope he has an entourage of Secret Service men in tow.

PERIOD

Tonight, Barack Obama will give the annual State of the Union address to the nation. Surprisingly, he didn’t call The Old NCO to help write his speech. So, I wanted to jot down what I would have written had the White House requested my assistance. So here goes….. Speaker Boehner, Vice President Biden, Senators, Representatives, Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight, I present to you the State of the Union. The theme of tonight’s address to the nation can be summed up in one word, and that word is PERIOD. I’ll begin with a report on the Affordable Care Act. I want to remind everyone that my official policy is to no longer call the program Obamacare as I’m trying to distance myself from my signature legislation. As you all remember, I told everyone if you liked your current health insurance plan, that you could keep your plan – PERIOD. Well, I lied about that. I also told everyone that if you liked your current doctor, you could keep your current doctor – PERIOD. Well, I lied about that too. I stood before you four years ago and told everyone my 831 billion dollar stimulus plan would put America back to work – PERIOD. Well guess what, I was lying then. It was just a big scheme to spread the wealth around. On the international front, I stated we would protect our embassy personnel stationed overseas. And when four Americans were slaughtered by Al Qaeda terrorist in Benghazi, Libya, I said it was due to a You Tube video – PERIOD. Well, I lied. It was just before the election. So what did you expect? The truth? Get real. And I recently told everyone I negotiated with the country of Iran to have them stop enriching plutonium to a grade capable of making a nuclear bomb – PERIOD. Yep, must know by now, I lied. I gave away the farm. So, in conclusion, let me be truthful for once. You can never believe a thing I tell you – PERIOD.